The fight

Well my battle with sun is starting to go in my favor! Don't get me wrong it still scares me to be outside for long periods of time but I am starting to enjoy it again. The best thing that helped me gain confidence in going outside again is finding some cute SPF cloths to wear at the pool!! Granted I look a little strange wearing a long sleeve shirt and board shorts but hey I don't have to suck it in like I would if I were wearing a bikini!! And the fact that now I can get in the water with Sophia and Corey and play without too much worry is well worth the strange looks. The other thing that is getting better is my adjusting to wearing sunscreen every time I leave the house. I have found that out of the brands I have tried Banana Boat is by far the best, it is easy to put on and isn't too thick and it is also recommended by the skin cancer foundation (I think I should be a spokesmodel for them!). I also have found some cute hats and some good foundations that have a good SPF in them.Another thing is I have become much more aware of my body and my skin and even notice other peoples skin more.

I have to get a full body check every few months by the dermatologist which let me tell you is very strange but it has opened my eyes. I think there are other women out there who hate to stand in front of the mirror and look at themselves naked but now I am forced to all the time!! I need to be very aware of every mark, bump and mole and have a visual memory of where they all are. Super sucks but everyone should really be aware of their skin because it really can happen to anyone. But its not just knowing the look but being aware of how it feels.

I have noticed that in my quest for the best sunscreen I feel my skin more if that makes any sense. I can tell when I am outside and I need to apply more sunscreen because I feel a sort of tingle on my exposed skin from the sun telling me its getting through. Its so strange and hard to explain how it feels but it kind of like when you are outside and its a hot day and your skin gets hotter temperature wise and you can almost feel it cracking as the sun breaks down cells and either tans or burns your skin. Well to me what feeling tells brain is you need more sunscreen because the sun is making your skin sick not that its hot and I am getting a great tan. So next time you are at the beach sun bathing try to tune in and "feel" your skin. It is our largest and most exposed organ thats out there for everyone to see. And living here in Spain I have started to notice a lot more.

Living in a beach town where laying in the sun is a way of life I have really started to notice other peoples skin. For instance I was at the store oddly enough buying sunscreen and there was a lady who was probably 50 years old but she looked almost 70. It was like she was wearing a leather body suit covered in wrinkles and it looked like you could see her skin crack every time she moved. Did I mention she was tanned darker then my husband??!! I just thought to myself wow that does not look good or healthy. Now I am not going to be ones of those people who are like totally against going to the beach and laying out because I would be a total hyppocrate because that was one of my favorite past times and won't judge people who do, unless you are a grandma and do it topless on the beaches in Spain then I think its time to stop. I just want people to know and be smart about getting that "summer glow" because even though it looks good it can be deadly and skin cancer can happen to anyone. So okay I am getting off my venting stool and parting with my own advice to myself and that is to continue trying to win my battle with the sun and getting more confidence with being outside!! I will win!!