Parenting

Okay so yesterday I was reading an article about how people still have that stigma for parents who only want one child and it really got my brain working. First off at this point I am still not sure I want another child and there are various reasons for why. But in a nut shell I have always thought that to be a parent means to give your kid/s the best life possible and for me I am not sure if I have another child I would be able to give both the type of lives I think they would deserve. So when I tell people that I am not sure about having another child and if I do it will not be for a while I almost always get a response. And parents out there you know how it is when you have one child the question of having another starts just after they leave the womb.

I had a lady, who I had just met, ask me when we were going to have another and when I told her I didn't think I wanted another she told me I "owed it to Sophia to have another"!! And after reading that article I remembered that conversation and it got my blood boiling. Where does it say that to have a perfect family you need 2 kids, a dog and a partridge in a pear tree?? Does every child need a sibling because I owe it to them?? I mean seriously if I chose not have another child does that mean Sophia is going to be an unfulfilled person? I know some only children that have grown up fine and who haven't complained about not having a sibling and I also know people with siblings they don't get along with and could care less about.

Then there is the stigma that only children will grow up to be spoiled. Really??!! I want to be able to spoil my child and give her the best life possible but does that mean she is going to be a brat?? No. I am a believer that you can be spoiled without being a brat because for some reason the two always go together but thats a whole other post. And so what if I want to spoil my child, its MY child. And this is where my blood starts to boil.

Where does this "right" that some people think they have to tell me who to parent my child? If this total stranger was telling me I owe it to my child to give her a sibling then does that mean I am a bad parent for maybe not giving her one?? I think not. And this goes back to my point before on how people ask almost just after you have the first one when you are going to have another. Last time I checked it was my body and my life and if I chose not to push another out then that is my choice. Everyone has their own life and can make their own choices and I wish people would get over these stigmas. If I only want one kid then let it be. And if you know couples who chose not to have kids the same thing, let them be. There is no rule that says to be satisfied you need a husband, a wife, 2 kids and a dog!! I have a husband, two dogs and one child and I couldn't be happier. Could I change my mind one day and want another kid sure, I know my husband eventually does, but if I don't change my mind get off my back. It doesn't mean I am a bad mom and Sophia is going to grow up troubled it means I am a human and making a choice on what I want and think is best for my life. Stigmas and taboo's are bull shit bull shit bull shit. We are all different and we should embrace it instead of box it.